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Analytical Writing Assessment (AWA) | Can someone please rate my 1st Essay!

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Hi All,
I need your help to review my AWA. This is my 1st Essay and your review will help me benchmark. Thanks a ton for sparing some time for me.

The following appeared in the opinion section of a national newsmagazine:
“To reverse the deterioration of the postal service, the government should raise the price of postage stamps. This solution will no doubt prove effective, since the price increase will generate larger revenues and will also reduce the volume of mail, thereby eliminating the strain

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