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Analytical Writing Assessment (AWA) | Re: Please rate my AWA

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ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared in an article in a medical journal:

"The major increase in new cases of adult-onset diabetes during the past decade is the result of poor nutrition, which is itself the result of a lack of government control over the quality of foods available at low prices. If the government placed more emphasis on proper nutrition by requiring that food manufacturers include more vitamins and minerals in their products, the rate of adult-onset diabetes would be reduced
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