Hey, nice writing the 1st. Indeed you could have the conclusion a bit shorter and punchier, but that's all. I believe you missed an important flaw: the 1st phrase states that any person replacing sugar for Aspartame are better off with sugar. This statement implies that even people who do it for health causes (and, why not, taste) are better off with sugar. Then the entire development is related to dietary only. So the conclusion is too broad for the premises given.
Yet, i don't know how important
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Yet, i don't know how important
...
