Overall, a really good passage, and the template has been well applied. IMO, at the very least, it deserves a 5, if not better.
I do have some suggestions as following:
"they could then"
assumptions 'for' which
The ending of the second passage is not in sync with the start for the same passage. The passage begins with the focus on cost comparison, but ends with a focus on risk elimination.
Avoid the word 'being' in the second passage.
Also, I would really appreciate it if you could
...
I do have some suggestions as following:
"they could then"
assumptions 'for' which
The ending of the second passage is not in sync with the start for the same passage. The passage begins with the focus on cost comparison, but ends with a focus on risk elimination.
Avoid the word 'being' in the second passage.
Also, I would really appreciate it if you could
...
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